Preparing Children For "Peer Pressure"
The biological power in a husband and wife team to produce a child in no way serves as a guarantee that these same two will be successful in the total rearing of the child. Too many parents feel that when they feed, clothe, shelter, secularly educate, provide medically, and see that a child received proper recreation, the awesome parental obligation has been attained, maintained and concluded. No so. The forgoing concepts leave out the spiritual aspect, which includes a threefold obligation: duties toward one's own soul, the souls of others and toward the Heavenly maker of men, God almighty. Involved in that spiritual aspect is the proper preparation of enabling a child to resist what some deem to be an almost irresistible pressure of the day, that which comes from one's peers to do wrong. The truth of the matter is that some parents will not and cannot provide such preparation in the parent-child relationship. Others can and do. The thrust of this article will touch briefly both groups.
PARENTS WHO WILL NOT AND CANNOT: Some parents see no problem here. They do not sense much wrong in any action except that which may get a child into trouble with the law and land him/her behind bars. Such parents, unlike Jesus, have never learned to hate iniquity and love righteousness (Psalm 45:6-7); Hebrews 1:8-9). Unlike the Psalmist, they have never learned to "esteem all thy precepts concerning all things to be right" and thus to "hate every evil way" (Psalm 119:128). With no cognizance of right or wrong in moral and ethical realms themselves, they are in no position whatsoever to prepare their children against "peer pressure" to do wrong. They will not do such; they cannot do such with their present philosophy of life.
Some parents cannot do so effectively because they themselves do not resist "peer pressure" to do wrong. They may have a surface set of moral values to which they give lip service only but utterly fail to practice such themselves. It becomes mockery for parents to tell children not to follow a majority to do evil when children know parents to not live up to the vocally-set standard themselves. They know Daddy will not resist taking a drink when out with the boys. They know Mother has given in, joining her feminine friends in smoking, drinking a bit, cursing a little, gambling a bit, and her dress, when with the immodest elements, is no different from what her peers wear. Children who see their parents almost bankrupt themselves to keep up with the proverbial Jones family next door, at church, or as business associates, will never be influenced by these same parents who are big with a talking game in their regard, but little on action. How effective could an adulterous David be in encouraging his children not to give in to peer pressure to commit fornication just after the Bathsheba incident in 2 Samuel 11? How effective could a permissive Eli be for Hophni and Phinehas not to give in to permissive actions as practice by their peers? How effective could king Manasseh be with Amon, his son, not to give in to his peers who lived to worship idols? How effective could Ahab be in teaching daughter Athaliah not to give in to peer pressure to engage in wrongdoing when she saw her father constantly bowing to peer pressure exerted by Jezebel? How effective could Solomon have been with Rehoboam about not giving in to peer pressure relative to the having of more than one wife?
PARENTS THAT CAN AND DO: These are the parents who meet not only all the needs their children have physically, but major also in meeting their spiritual needs. These are the parents who as Zacharias and Elisabeth, are righteous and walk in all the commandments of the Lord in blameless fashion (Luke 1:6). These are the parents who, as Eunice and Lois, possess and unfeigned faith and pass it on to their precious offspring (2 Timothy 1:5). These are the parents who, as Joshua, did declare that the entire household will serve Jehovah (Joshua 24:15). They are as Jonadab, son of Rechab, teaching their children not to drink wine (Jeremiah 35:1ff.)
Modern parents can best teach and prepare their children to resist "peer pressure" to do wrong by practicing such a courageous concept themselves and doing it consistently. Then their teaching will have teeth in it. The child, from infancy, should be molded to God and Jesus and consider what they say as being far, FAR more important than what a peer might pressure one to do. Homes that are truly Christian, where father and mother pray, study the Bible, live Christ before their children, and never miss and assembly of the church are best fitted to prepare children to resist "peer pressure" to follow a crowd into wrong doing (Exodus 23:2).
From Our Archives, 1989
By: Robert R. Taylor